Chances are, that you’re reading this blog because you’re a millennial and the title spoke to you. Hello, fellow millennial!
Chances are then too, that you recognize yourself in the title: you feel stuck and/or lost. And you’re looking for a solution. Join the club.
Why is it that so many millennials at some point in their life end up feeling stuck and lost? And, most importantly, what can you do about it? Keep reading, because I’m going to clarify both issues in the blog below.
Prefer to watch instead of reading? Check out the video on YouTube 👇:
Who are millennials?
What you may not know about me is besides that I’m also a Yoga teacher. And it happens more than once, after I taught at a yoga class, people come up to me and tell me that they’re feeling lost and stuck in their lives.
It is always women or guys who are in their 20’s and 30’s. In other words, they’re “millennials”. Millennials are people who are now (2019) in the age between 24 to 36 years old.
Millennials are the generation who grew up with cassette tapes but also with the internet. We millennials grew up to the promise that everything we set our minds to is possible.
Download the free ‘Uncover Your Purpose in 15-minutes Workbook’ here
Why do so many millennials feel stuck and lost at some point in their lives?
Reason no.1: engineerable life
Most millennials graduated during or just after the crisis. So, when it was time to create the awesome life that we’re promised while growing up, there were no jobs out there. We had to conclude that life wasn’t as engineerable as we grew up thinking. As a result of this realization, we ended up feeling confused, stuck and lost.
Reason no 2. lack of meaning
Then there’s the issue that even if you do reach everything you set your mind to, that this doesn’t necessarily make you feel happy and fulfilled. Millennials are the purpose generation. So yes, we want to reach our goals, but we want to get more out of it than money and status.
Reason no.3: expectations
These above-mentioned reasons are an important part of why millennials tend to feel lost and stuck. But, there is one other thing, and that’s an important one which is called expectations.
The expectations that our parents, society and we have of ourselves, form the way we manifest ourselves in life. This is because you try to create a life that matches those expectations.
So when you had to pick a career path or your study, you probably picked the one that was:
- most likely to give you the life that matches your expectations
- more or less aligned with your interests and values
Reality vs. expectations
For me, it was the same. All I wanted was a comfortable life with (financial) security and nice luxurious things. I never wanted to worry about anything.
My choice to go to law school was a pretty logical one. Lawyers tend to make enough money to live a comfortable, luxurious and secure life. Also, I found the law interesting enough to dedicate my life to it, so the choice to go to law school was a simple and logical one.
But when I graduated and started my first job, it didn’t match my expectations at all. Thoughts like, “Is this it? Is this what I work for? Is this all that life is? Why do I feel so unfulfilled?” popped up in my head daily.
The quarter-life crisis
These thoughts (‘is this it?’) and this unsatisfied feeling are what is called a quarter-life crisis. Many millennials get one at some point in their life.
During a quarter-life crisis, you go through a period in which you feel stuck and lost. You don’t know what you’re meant to do on this earth. The way that you’re life has turned out, leaves you feeling disappointed.
And yes, this can even happen when you have a good life. You have a house and you have a good paycheck. You have great friends and a good social life. You should be happy and satisfied but you’re not.
The reason why this happens is because you’ve created a life around the expectation of what you thought life should be about. And you didn’t create a life that matches up with how you want to feel in life.
You see how this can create a disconnect that leaves you feeling stuck and lost?
Focus on how you want to feel
I believe that happiness is an inside job. When you built a life that is aligned with how you want to feel, chances are that you end up being happier and more satisfied.
Because when you do that, the choices that you make, will be in service of creating the feeling that you actually want in your life.
This isn’t something we learn in school. We don’t learn to create a life that matches up with how we want to feel. We often learn to create a life that matches an outside image. The ‘perfect picture’.
When you focus on creating an outside image, without taking your inside image into account, at some point you’ll realize that the life that you’ve created doesn’t make you happy.
Purposeful, meaningful and fulfilling life
Every single person wants to live a purposeful, meaningful and fulfilling life. Not everyone is aware of this. But this is a desire that we all have.
And purpose, meaning, and fulfillment don’t necessarily come from the car that you drive or the amount that you have in the bank.
5 tips to get unstuck as a Millennial
Now that you know what is causing you to feel stuck and lost, the question is, how do you get unstuck?
Here are 5 tips that’ll help.
1. Accept it. The quarter-life crisis is real
Accept that you’re having a quarter-life crisis and that you feel stuck. There’s really no shame in it. We all go through a crisis at some point in our lives.
So accept the situation for what it is and move on from there.
2. Manage expectations
Start managing the expectations that you have of life and yourself. Life isn’t as engineerable as you once thought. So start to see where you can make some adjustments. This will make life so much easier AND enjoyable.
3. Discover the disconnect
Get clear on where in life there might be a disconnect between your inner and outside world.
Ask yourself “how do you want to feel?”
And then ask yourself “What do I need to do/change to make this feeling possible?”.
4. Make changes
Once you know where the disconnect is and how you need to change this, start making those changes. That is the only way that you can get over your quarter-life crisis.
You’re feeling the way you’re feeling because your life isn’t aligned with who you truly are. Do whatever it is that you need to do to create a life that IS aligned with who you are and with what you want.
5. Get help!
Get some professional help to get out of your quarter-life crisis. You don’t have to do figure it out all by yourself.
Get help from a coach who’s specialized in helping millennials, so that you can get back on your feed fast. Also, a coach can help you figure out what you’re purpose is, so that you can start feeling happy, satisfied and fulfilled.