What to do when you don’t know what you want in life? - HaileyNoa.com

What to do when you don’t know what you want in life?

“Ugh, I don’t know what to do with my life!”. Does this sound familiar? If the answer is yes, you may also feel like you’re stuck in your life, right? You feel lost, insecure and maybe even a bit useless.

Life isn’t what you imagined it to be while growing up. You know that your job isn’t why you were put on this earth. You have so much more to offer! But at the same time, you don’t exactly know what it is that you have to offer.

I feel your pain! For years I have walked the globe with the exact same problem. I’ll let you in on a little secret: you and I aren’t the only ones. This feeling of feeling stuck and lost is so common that it even has a name called “The quarter-life crisis”. Yep, it has a name!


A case of a quarter-life crisis?

If you recognize yourself in the feeling that I have explained in the introduction, it could very well be that you have a quarter life crisis. Usually, a quarter-life crisis accrues when a person is between the ages of 22 and 35. Better yet, it is a well-known problem amongst millennials and let me tell you, the quarter-life crisis is real. It is not something you made up and you are not a cry baby.

During a quarter-life crisis, you can feel undefined and lost. You don’t know who you are, what you want and what you are even capable of. You doubt everything, feel insecure and to top this off, you also compare yourself to your friends. You ask yourself “there must be more to life than this?” but you haven’t found the answer to this question yet.

As a result of this internal crisis, you feel unsettled. You end up crying on your couch, simply because you feel stuck and you have no idea how to get unstuck.


What causes a quarter life crisis?

The quarter-life crisis is a relatively new phenomenon. In the old days, life was more “clearer”. If you were a man, you would choose the same occupation as your dad, grandfather, and your great-grandfather. As a woman, you would run the household. What your life path was going to be was predictable and straightforward.

Nowadays, we can decide for our selves what we want in life. Awesome! But this also results in identity questions about who you are, what you want and what your skills are. If you aren’t able to answer these questions, you may end up with an identity crisis.

The other challenge that comes with the freedom to choose your own destiny, is choice overload. What are you gonna choose when everything is possible? Chances are that you get overwhelmed by all the possibilities. As a result, you get paralyzed, leaving you even more unable to make a decision.

Besides the endless options, the pressure from society can also cause a quarter-life crisis. If you are around the age of 35 or younger, you were probably brought up with the idea that the sky is the limit. Everything is possible as long as you do your best and work hard. Mediocrity is not an option. Failure is a disgrace. No wonder the pressure to perform is huge.

Then there is also the urge to compare ourselves. Comparing yourself with others has never been so easy because of social media. If you see that others are “ahead in life”, not only the performance pressure rises, but also feelings of insecurities, doubt and loneliness may come up.

No wonder you feel lost if you are experiencing a quarter life crisis right now!


You are not a crybaby!

Often the quarter-life crisis is being put off as posturing. It is a problem that spoiled millennials who don’t know what they want to experience. I totally disagree. Feeling stuck in life is a serious problem.

If you are experiencing this you don’t have to ignore it, tell yourself that you are a crybaby or that it will pass. It is okay to admit that you are having a quarter life crisis and you may take the time to solve this.


You are entitled to have a quarter-life crisis, but please, do deal with it! 

In my opinion, having a quarter-life crisis is really not such a bad thing. Better yet, I actually think that this is good for you. Because let’s be honest. At a young age, we already need to make study choices that will influence our life path. Of course, you can discover later in life that the choices you made when you were 16 don’t reflect who you are anymore. This is also partially why I decided to quit my career as a lawyer. The choices that I had made as a teenager weren’t serving me anymore when I was in my late twenties. This is completely fine and normal.

The question is, what are you going to do with your internal crisis? Are you going to embrace it and see it as an opportunity for a new beginning? Or do you hold on to your old choices and patterns that aren’t serving you anymore?

If you choose the last option, you might end up with a burnout. Or maybe years from now you end up regretting that you haven’t listened to that internal voice that told you to explore your options and you have missed out on a life that is far greater, happier and meaningful.


You CAN discover what you DO want in life

The good news is that you can discover what it is that you do want in life. The first step is to ask yourself 2 questions: 

  • What makes me happy?
  • What am I good at?

Chances are that the answers to these questions aren’t something that you studied in college. Maybe you already do these things as a hobby and maybe that is enough for you when you look deep down. But if that is not the case, please, see this as a sign that you can go on this journey to discover what is your life’s purpose.

The choices that you have made earlier in your life, don’t have to be forever. So, go on that discovery journey. Discover why you were put on this earth. Because let’s be honest, wouldn’t it be great if you know what that is? 

Let me help you!

Because I know how it feels to not know what it is that you want in life, I offer a free 30-minute Purpose Breakthrough Session in which, we’ll uncover what it’s currently keeping you stuck, what you need to step into your purpose and what kind of an impact knowing your purpose could have on your life. Use the button below to book your free session.

Now, tell me, are you ready to get clear on what you want in life?

Are you feeling stuck in your life? And do you not know what you want to do in your life? Chances are that you have a quater-life crisis. Discover how to solve this!


I’m the coach for the millennial woman who’s ready to know and live her Soul Purpose. That’s why I help you uncover what you’re meant to do in life and turn that into a profitable dream career. Enjoy the free blogs and videos that will help you with this!

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3 thoughts on “What to do when you don’t know what you want in life?”

    1. Hopelijk helpt mijn blog je al een beetje vooruit! En voel je zeker vrij om een sessie te booken. Ik voeg morgen nieuwe tijden toe aan m’n agenda!

  1. Hoi Hailey, heel herkenbaar! Het is inderdaad belangrijk om ermee te dealen. Een crisis in mijn leven heeft mij ook iets moois gebracht, mijn bedrijf V. at The City (www.vatthecity.com). Met aan andere te helpen, heb ik ook mezelf geholpen.

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